Hedwig Anuar (b. 1928)

SELECTED POEMS

Love Match

The Chief Minister of Singapore, Mr Lim Yew Hock, on his return from discussion with Tengku Abdul Rahman, Chief Minister of the Federation, replied to questions from the Press on the merger of Singapore and the Federation with, “Well, gentlemen, the love-making has started. As you know yourselves, once you start making love, there are always chances of a marriage.” 
— The Straits Budget, 21 June 1956

The lady says she’s willing
She declares the prospect thrilling,
But the gentleman isn’t quite so sure.
He’s not quite so romantic,
He’s driving her quite frantic—
Can it be that she lacks enough allure?

The lady has her charms.
But the gentleman has her qualms
Lest other suitors boldly come to call.
He’d show them all the door
If not strictly for l’amour—
But he doesn’t like to get into a brawl. 

The lady says she’s rich
And that’s not quite a hitch
When one’s thinking of settling down for life!
But the gentleman’s uneasy,
He can’t help feeling queasy
At the thought of a treasurer-cum-wife!

The lady’s well connected,
As he quite well expected,
With rich and strong protectors overseas.
So if he wants a kiss
From this pretty little Miss,
Will he first have to say to them “Please?”

The lady has a brood
Of children rough and crude,
With bottles, sticks and stones they like to play.
The gentleman’s upset,
And says, “Oh, please, not yet—
I would hate to spank them all each day.”

The lady has a past
And he sometimes is aghast
At the thought of all her little tricks and wiles.
But her reply to him
Is that he is too much too prim,
And she’ll charm him yet with all her brightest smiles.

The lady says it’s clear
With every passing year
That he and she are destined for the altar.
But he’ll not name the day.
He’ll not say yea or nay,
But tremblingly, ungallantly does falter.

The lady’s growing old
And a little overbold,
She’s afraid she may be let upon the shelf.
The gentleman he sighs,
Not feeling very wise,
Knowing he can marry no one else himself. 

The lady and the gent
Many long years have spent
In living next door to each other.
And all the passersby
Nod their heads and sigh,
“It’s clear each one can’t live without the other.”

So let’s drink to the pair
And hope they do and dare
And we’ll see an announcement in the Times:
“A marriage will take place . . . ”
(Colonial Office Loses Face!)
And we’ll rejoice to hear the wedding chimes.

by Hedwig Anuar
from Under the Apple Tree: Political Parodies of the 1950s (1999)

 

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